The First Time
by crackberries
Summary: Is always the hardest, especially when you're inexperienced. So Ludwig  turns to big brother for help, even if it means venturing into his lair.


**The first time's always the hardest...**

* * *

Ludwig stood in front of the door to the basement, hand hovering above the doorknob, wondering if this was that great of an idea. Maybe he could ask someone else, like that French guy who dropped Gilbert home occasionally...Francis, right? He looked like the type of guy who would be able to help Ludwig without making it extremely embarrassing for him.

Then again, Ludwig was what, twelve? He couldn't _possibly_ ask a seventeen year old for _that_ kind of thing. Unless the seventeen year old happened to be related to him.

And unfortunately, the only seventeen year old related to him was Gilbert.

And Rodereich, but he was more of a cousin... And too prim and proper.

Ludwig had no choice. It had to be Gilbert. He put his hand on the doorknob, and slowly turned it.

Oh, how he wished he could read a book instead. Stealing one of the Harlequin romances his mother hid under the coffee table would have been _much _easier. However Alfred, the root of this dilemma had insisted that _real men use _**_visuals_**_._

And before Kiku could speak up, Alfred clarified that cartoons didn't count, which ruined Ludwig's plan of turning to his Japanese friend for help. Feliciano, who had been sitting near their table in the cafeteria, had said that his father kept stacks and stacks of "gentlemen's" magazines hidden in the attic.

Three days later, he brought a couple to school, and the quartet marveled at the buxom young women spread out through the glossy pages.

But Alfred, drenched in pubescent glory, insisted that it was not the _real _stuff that the older guys look at. He presented the challenge that over the weekend, they all look at _live-action_ videos.

The thought of that intimidated Ludwig, because he never looked at porn before. Sure, he had heard of it before but he had never actually _looked_ at it. The closest he had gotten was seeing soft core things in the cinemas, and even then he slightly blushed and averted his eyes. Ludwig knew he wasn't old enough to rent something, and he knew that if he got something on the pay-per-view, it would show up on the monthly bill and he would be killed.

And because Ludwig was too shy to look it up on his own computer, he decided to ask his older brother. After all, Gilbert never brought anyone home or stayed overnight (except for a few comic and gaming conventions) at anyone's place, yet he always talked about how he kept his "Five Meters" happy on a consistent basis.

So Ludwig assumed that big brother had a rather extensive collection of adult material. He was old enough to know what Gilbert really meant when he said he'd go to basement that he converted into his room to go do his Physics homework.

Well, okay, half the time he was programming computer games with robotic apocalypses, but the other half when he was blasting Optimus Rhyme on his ghetto blaster, Ludwig was pretty sure that Gilbert had his headphones plugged into his laptop and was watching porn.

He was slightly scared of what his brother would do or say. Probably laugh at him, kick him out of his room, then bring it up again at Ludwig's wedding many years down the road. Or something equally scary. The blond boy shivered. His brother was a nerd, yes, but a formidable nerd that hunted people down when they didn't pay him properly for doing their homework.

Ludwig needed better relatives.

He cleared his throat for the millionth time, hand still on the doorknob. Maybe he didn't have to do this. It kind of felt like he was breaking some kind of rule, and breaking rules was something he was strongly against.

Their parents were gone for the entire day though. And if he didn't finish the challenge, no doubt Alfred and Feliciano and maybe even Kiku would tease him endlessly about it.

He turned the doorknob slowly, and carefully opened the door. As soon as he did, he was assaulted by a dubstep remix of some Nirvana song.

Maybe now was not the right time.

Ludwig strained his ears to hear for any sound that would betray what Gilbert was doing, but couldn't hear anything over the loud music.

Maybe he could take his chances.

Collecting himself, making sure his expression was the same, stoic one that he held since his father took him to work when he was 6 and was allowed to actually _talk_ to real businessman, Ludwig stepped down the stairs.

It was very, very dark since Gilbert had painted the walls of the stairwell black to match the rest of his room/basement. The lighting was dim in the 'lair', as it was referred to, and the bass continued to rattle some of the paintings that remained on the walls back from a time when the basement was inhabitable for other beings.

With great trepidation, Ludwig reached the last step and turned the corner after the laundry room to enter the main room of the basement. Light bulbs hung from the ceiling, illuminating the massive collection of posters Gilbert had acquired over the years from conventions, happy meals, and online. A mattress was shoved in one corner, covered in a cheetoh-stained blanket that resembled the Prussian flag (a country that Gilbert had grown rather fond off after doing a project in the second grade about it.) A mahogany desk was on the other side of the room, with two computer monitors set side by side. Ludwig squinted to look at the screen on the right.

Yep, his brother was watching porn, if the two figures frozen in motion on the screen were anything to go by.

But where was his brother?

The bathroom door, conveniently located near the mattress, was standing slightly ajar. The fluorescent light was on, so Ludwig assumed that that's where his brother was hiding out. While a brilliant boy otherwise, Ludwig was sometimes bad at reading the situation. So, with what he hoped was an air of an important man, he walked across the floor littered with obscure online goods, and up to the bathroom door. He raised his fist up to knock, when he heard a voice.

That was when the second flag should have gone up, but Ludwig peered in to see what was up.

"Lookin' hot tonight, man." Gilbert purred to someone in the direction of the mirror.

...to himself.

Ludwig's eyes widened a fraction as he continued to watch his brother sweet talk his reflection.

"You're too fucking awesome...couldn't get turned on enough from the video because I was thinking of you and your giant, awesome di-"

As quietly as possible, Ludwig turned on his heel right before he could see his brother's hands dive below his hemline and scar the younger brother for life. He tip toed up the stairs, and closed the door gently as to not alert his brother to his presence.

Maybe he would wait for Gilbert to come upstairs before he asked, maybe at a more opportune time like an hour later or during dinner or never.

For now, he just wanted to go bleach his brain and call up Alfred to admit defeat.

* * *

I'm enjoying not having anything to procrastinate on hahahaha...

Reviews are really appreciated :D


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